Kat in the UAE

Me and Chris at a huge cemetery in the UAE. I miss Chris! 

Kat in front of the Assembly Rooms, site of the planned (and cancelled) wedding. 

Molly and I in the UAE. 

Kat eating chocolate. 

Well, I shouldn't have dismissed M in Dubai so quickly. She said to me the other day, "Are you sure David doesn't read your blog?" And I said, "Nah. I only sent him the link once, months ago, and then I didn't write on it for weeks, so I don't think he would ever think to look at it again." But I wasn't at his house five minutes before he admitted that he looks at it every day.

Shocked doesn't begin to describe how I felt. I would never have written about my pathetic dating episodes or responded so light-heartedly to the 'are you getting married?' question. Dumb Dumb Dumb. That's me. It's like my brain went on autopilot and gave itself the mission: Hurt David's feelings in every way possible. I never wanted to do that. I'm sorrier than I ever thought I could be.

Yesterday I went to David's house around 11. We packed up my stuff, split the silverware (Julliard Oneida, gorgeous stuff), and agreed to sell our Wedgwood on ebay. We behaved ourselves. Both of us were abnormally kind to each other. My friend Sez came over there for a little while, too. Then she had to go on a weekend away with her mates.

Later David and I drove to Oxford to ship my 9 boxes + suitcase to Germany. £140 later, we drove back and I went home to cry that gross no-one-is-looking-at-me-so-I-can-howl-like-a-wolf-and-snot-everywhere kind of crying. Dave had gotten so skinny. He was so quiet. He said he still cares about me and I'm sweet. And I just wanted to scream at him. "I'm awful! Hate me! Go find someone new and make me jealous!" He has a lot going for him, actually. He's got thousands of pounds in the bank, a great idea for his own business, and a family that adores and supports him.

Today we decided to go out for lunch and talk. Not much happened. We ate and I made him feel bad in the way that only ex-girlfriends can do. He got a refund from the Tux store and we talked some more at the house where I'm staying. We both ended up in tears but we finished with a nice good-bye. He made me promise to keep in touch, and I agreed to e-mail him from time to time if it will make him eat more.

Regardless, I think it's time to change this blog's domain. If you would like to get the new link, e-mail me at kaflansburg@hotmail.com. I would censor myself too much in the future if I thought my ex-fiance was reading this. As much as he wants to keep reading it, I think it's seriously unhealthy.

I'm off to Germany tomorrow. My momster is waiting with an arsenal of American food. Her mission in life is to feed me within an inch of my life. I love her for it.

I'm looking forward to having all my belongings in one place for the first time in 5 years. After the TV and stereo arrive, I'm going to have quite the pad upstairs in Germany. I'm going to have to get a padlock for the door to lock my momster out so she won't play with my toys when I'm away.

More people in Reading spoke to me on the street today than every before. I gave a lady and her husband 50p because they only had 1.50 between them for the bus. They thanked me like 7 times. Then some freak said, "Can I just say what a priddy top that is?" Ick ick ick. Go away old stinky man. Then someone asked me which buses go to the station. This is a record for England. I think the sunshine made the Brits happy and talkative for a change.

OK, I'm heading back to Sez's place to pack and eat KFC twister sandwich and watch Brit TV. I'm shocked to find that every episode of Flog It! or Trading Spaces I have seen was already played in the UAE on BBC Prime. Astonishing.

Bye all. My momster probably won't facilitate my surfing habit, so it might be a while before I talk to you again. Kisses,
Kat

I'm officially departing the Middle East. I love this place. I know I'm going to pine for it when I'm in a chilly wet place or when I'm desperate for a road adventure. I'm in the Dubai Airport at the moment, working on using 40 minutes of internet before I head through gate 18 and board my British Airways flight. I bought a paperback of Queen Noor, two paperbacks of Mother Without a Mask (story of women in Al Ain, my town, about 25 years ago) and a Lonely Planet Italy. After I get to Germany on the 23rd, my momster is going to drive us to Tuscany where we can drink red wine and bond.

I will miss the sand, the men in pajamas, and lovely, elegant Arab girls.

I have a couple of regrets. I never wore my full abayah, sheila, and face veil out into the streets. I wanted to see if people would still be able to tell that I was foreign. I thought maybe they wouldn't notice the suspiciously pale eye area above the face veil (or the fact my eyes are green). Now I'll have to wait until I return to find out! And I never flashed the 100 Indian guys that loiter outside my house and stare at me when I walk by.

I want to come back. That much is certain. But I don't know when.

God willing, I will bring my rich, old husband here on our honeymoon!

Kisses to you all. I will be in America from June 11.

I can barely write. I've been crying buckets for the last 20 minutes! My roommate from Randolph-Macon Woman's College just graduated and The Washington Post carried a story about her on the front page today. Please take a look at www.washingtonpost.com. You have to sign in, which sucks, but the story is headlined on the webpage as 'A Long Journey to a Dream.'
There is also a slide slow with Kakenya's voiceover. She's talking about home and what she wants to do after graduation. When I heard her voice I broke down even more.

But her mother. Dear God, the woman is amazing. She traveled all the way from Enoosaen to Washington, D.C. It was 60 hours. The journey I made from her village to Dubai last November nearly killed me. I've never been so exhausted in my life! Or filthy. That bus to Nairobi is NOT clean. And this woman basically traveled 20 hours longer than I did to get there. I can't help but think about what her first impressions of America are. And how amazing it must be for Kakenya to have her Mom there with her for graduation.

It's like watching a really cheesy feel-good film, only it's real life! I haven't cried for joy in a long time. I'm so proud of Kakenya. She worked so hard and came so far. She earned her moment in the spotlight.

I love Kellie, I love Kellie! She is my new favorite girrrrrrrllllll. Nope, I'm not getting married. I chickened out. But it was going to be beautiful. My gown is at my house in Germany and I'm going to try it on when I get there in late May. It was going to be at the Assembly Rooms, a la Jane Austen, and we were going to dance under three chandeliers with beautiful flower arrangements and live happily ever after, but then I realized that neither one of us would earn a living wage in England and his pot smoking was never going to cease. He was going to embarass me (this has happened so often) many more times throughout my life. He adored me and I loved him truly, but I knew I wouldn't be happy. I needed to sever the ties before I drowned.

Enough, now I am psychotic and happier for it. Nothing was more degrading that writing to everyone I know and telling them that the wedding was off. And now my bridesmaids are pissed because the gowns that we ordered from America have arrived in the UK -- and they have a 107 GreatBritainPound duty slapped on them.

I just got back from Salalah, Oman. It was lovely, but I started to lose it after 14 hours of driving. I cried. I am so glad to be home now. I had a shower and read all the comments and now I'm happy again.

We picked up a hitchhiker today. He was a nice Indian man just trying to get back home to Muscat. We took him to Nizwa, which was a massive part of the journey (around 700 km), and I fed him potato chips and Bisc & Mars bars. He was very happy to be traveling a hundred miles an hour, in air conditioning, munching my goodies, and listening to Christina Aguilera. To show his appreciation he bought me a Pepsi at the gas station and shook my hand. I would never have picked him up if scary-ass Chris hadn't been along for the ride.

I might get my car money tomorrow. Insh-Allah. God willing.

I bought gorgeous silver trinkets in Salalah. Now I have necklaces with Arabic all over them, so I can wear them when I travel on public transportation and everyone will stay away from me. One is a little book with the Kabbah, the holy place in Mecca that all Muslims pray toward (it's basically a tiny black square building with a meteorite shoved in the wall from pre-Islamic times) that has a false bottom. I can slide that bit of silver out, put my stash in, and seal it up. It's a necklace charm, so I'll wear it when I want to feel super-cool. I got another one with Allah on the front and the Ithlalia Corsi on the back. The Corsi thing is a verse (sorah) from the Quran that says something about Allah staying in one's heart. It is very beautiful and is always the verse that is etched on silver jewellry.

I have so much to do tomorrow!!! I have to ship boxes, get my driving license out of the American Embassy, and call the shipping place in England.

I miss you all. Heather, of course I'm going to come visit you! After I visit Kellie.

Chris is the stinky, constipated half-wit that I travel with. He makes racist comments and wants lots of children, so he is crossed off the list. However, his personal hygiene is of a distinctive level. He's brushing his teeth and holding his cock, walking around the room, as I type this.

Molly is leaving UAE tomorrow and I will miss her.

Now Chris is dancing on the bed to my Martina McBride CD. He's awesome.

We went to see a huge sinkhole today outside Salalah. We also went to the graveyard where the Sultan's family is buried. All the headstones had Arabic all over them. It was awesome, I took pictures. And we went in a fort, which was awesome. I whacked my head on a low door frame. 6'4" Chris managed to avoid it, but I drilled it.

Aroun sent me another sweet e-mail, which made me happy. He is still in France. He is talking about coming to the states, so I hope that when he does visit I will see him. He has an awesome doctor friend guy at UCLA Middle Eastern Studies library, so I think he'll be in the area.

OK, this internet is expensive and Chris wants to go watch 'Old School' so I'm getting off. Comment, bitches!!!

Chris is the funniest man on earth. Don't get mad, but I told him about this party that my friend J.C. was having on Sunday. I said, "It's awesome! Everybody is so happy and friendly and they'll definitely have WINE! But, there is this sort of weird thing that happens. In the middle of the fun, some guys get up and they pass plates around for everyone to put some money in for J.C." So Chris looks at me, dead serious, and says, "He gets everybody who comes to his house to give him money? What, is he Jewish?" I nearly pissed myself. Yeah! Yeah, he is Jewish!

Chris is hilarious. So cruel and so smart.

Just now, he went into the bathroom, looked over his shoulder, and said, "I might be a while. I gotta drop the Cosby kids off at the pool."

UGH.

Oman is awesome. I love it here.

OOOOOOooooohhhhh, Aroun just sent me an e-mail from France and signed it love. And he says that his friend Eric said that I am very, very cute in the pictures he showed him. Life is good.

Oh, oh. Chris's mom has this magnet. It says, Cheer Up. Things will get worse.

So true.

Chris and I are in Salalah, Oman. It is AMAZING. Today we saw a spurting geyser next to a turqouise sea and the prophet Job's tomb. The tomb was so amazing. It was in a little mosque, so I had to jet my shoes and put a headscarf on my head to be respectful. Then I surreptitiously videotaped it.

We are now at a gorgeous hotel and I'm in a good mood because I ate a chicken burger.

A couple of days ago Chris and I ate at Planet Hollywood in Dubai. It was soooooo freaky because they served PORK and ALCOHOL and they're not part of a hotel. This is the noteworthy shit that happens to us.